


It's been a Long, Long Time

by Kefalion



Series: All About Harry [15]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kefalion/pseuds/Kefalion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's friend offers him a chance to go back in time. He takes it, but realizes that he has given up more than he bargained for. Time will come around though, so he only needs to wait.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's been a Long, Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listing to a song on the soundtrack for Captain America: The Winter Soldier more than a few times. As the lyrics started to play themselves in my head the other night the idea for this story followed. It's short, but some of the best stories are and I am very proud of the concept and the manifestation as well I suppose. I hope you'll enjoy reading!
> 
> Also 
> 
> Beta: Give homage to ShinyTogeticFTW for helping me out with this story!  
> ShinyTogeticFTW: Enjoy this story, everybody, leave Kefalion a review, and if you have time check out my stories too! :) (over at fanfiction.net)

"I could make it happen, you know," Harry murmured, sitting down on the couch across from Steve.

"What?" Steve asked. He wasn't sure what the other man had said as he had been listening to the music that was blazing out from the speakers at volume which had intimidated him at first, before he grew used to it. He had been listening intently to the Big Band, following the melody of the saxophone, letting the music carry him back over the decades that had passed.

"It's not allowed, and I would break at least fifteen different laws, but I could do it," Harry continued, drawing up his feet under himself with absent motions. He was as good as crawling in on himself, his frame becoming smaller, as if he didn't want to be seen, trying to stay unnoticed.

"Harry, what are you talking about?" Steve felt worried, Harry's body language spoke of unease. It was very different from the confident man he had come to know. He got up and went over to the stereo to turn down the volume as he still hadn't learnt to make the remote control work and, being in a hurry, it felt safer to do it manually. Harry wasn't making any sense. It was as if he was tearing himself apart before Steve's eyes and the Captain had no idea why that was.

"What do you think I'm talking about?" Harry snapped, suddenly angry. He unfolded his legs, crossing his arms in front of himself in a defensive posture. "You wish you could go back, that you would have woken up to find that only a week had passed. If you ask me I can make that happen."

Steve went completely still. He had been complaining a lot lately, ever since SHIELD disbanded. It was only small things, but perhaps they had been piling up. He had grumbled about the things that frustrated him because he couldn't understand and because he couldn't catch up no matter how hard he tried.

Every time he met Tony Stark he was reminded of it. In looks the man resembled his father, to a degree that was almost painful, and there were the never-ending references that might as well be spoken in Greek for all the sense they made to him not to mention the comments about his age or the fact that he had been frozen for nearly seventy years... All this made it less then pleasant to spend time in Stark's company.

It was both fortunate and not that they didn't get along and didn't see each other often. Steve liked to think that it would have been different had he been there while Tony grew up, but as it was it was too painful for both of them; Howard Stark always hovered over them, a ghost haunting and plaguing their relationship or lack thereof.

"I..." he said weakly. Even knowing about magic, Steve found the idea of being able to go back in time impossible.

"I know you went to see her."

"Who?"

Harry gave him a sad smile. "Margaret Carter."

"Oh."

He had gone to see Peggy; he'd done it while he was on a mission in Europe and England only seemed to be a stone's throw away.

She was and wasn't the woman he remembered. She had aged while he looked the same as the day he'd been given the serum. Her skin had been soft and wrinkly, her hair thin and white, her body frail and weak. Only her eyes beneath heavy eyelids remained the same warm brown he had fallen in love with.  _You were gone for so long_ , she had said, nearly crying as her confused mind took her back.  _Why were you gone for so long?_

He swallowed thickly. "Yes," he murmured. "I went to see her."

"And you saw what could have been."

"I suppose."

It had been difficult not to imagine it. The celebrations at the end of the war. He would have danced with Peggy in the streets alongside a hundred other couples filled with exuberant joy. They could have worked out. He would have been awkward, but he would have gone down on one knee, proposing to her, and she would have said yes. They would have had a life together. It would have been so simple.

"Do you want to go back?" Harry pressed.

"I..." Steve was conflicted. He had never been particularly selfish, but now he wished that he was. He wanted to go back, back to a time when things made sense and the people he knew and who had been present as he grew up weren't all dead.

At the same time, he felt responsible for the time he was in now. He had been there for over two years, and he had gotten to know people here as well. He had done important things and he could continue to do so. There were the Avengers, helping to protect the world from threats that were larger than anything humanity could create. This was so much bigger than him.

And there was Harry, who had become his best friend. It was strange how they had met up, two individuals who others viewed as extraordinary meeting as if they were normal. They hadn't been in danger when they met, they hadn't been looking for anything when they met, and yet they had. Harry had become his rock in the new world, offering Steve to move in with him until he could find his own feet. SHIELD had approved of Harry Potter, so he had seen no problem with it; the man had good credentials and had proven that he had no problem with keeping up if things were to go south as they were wont to do.

After a while Steve had moved on to Washington however, leaving Harry in New York as work demanded it of him. They had kept contact all along though and in the aftermath of Project Insight and the discovery that HYDRA wasn't as dead as they had all been led to believe he had moved back, finding some sort of stability through the contact with the English Wizard.

But all of that didn't have to happen. He could do some good if he could go back to the past. He could prevent HYDRA from infiltrating SHIELD. He could save Bucky from the experiments. He could make the world a better place, without all the surveillance and… and he could do it whilst understanding and growing with the world around him.

He smiled at Harry, never noticing how the other man's face fell. "If you can do this for me, I have to say yes."

o-o-o

It took one week for Harry to organize it. They used what he named an International Portkey to get to London. It was not an experience Steve was keen on ever repeating, even as Harry muttered that apparition was worse, especially if you side-a-longed someone.

The wizard had taken him to a telephone-booth, in a dark alley. It was an old model, painted in black, which Steve found to be to his liking. It was like coming home already. Next Harry had grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him inside, following after. It was a tight fit. Neither man was small and it was very awkward in Steve's opinion, especially considering that his mind produced such idle thoughts as that Harry smelt good, and that he was warm where they touched and Steve could feel his cheeks heating up in response, though he couldn't fathom why. Whatever it was he was feeling only got worse as Harry squirmed passed him with a muttered apology, getting to the phone and dialling a short number.

His thoughts were soon directed elsewhere though as a voice started speaking from nowhere; it was cool and female and clearly very English. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."

He could see in the darkness that Harry rolled his eyes. "Harry Potter and Steve Rogers, visiting the Time Room in the Department of Mysteries."

"Thank you. Visitors, please take the badges and attach them to the front of your robes."

Two badges slid out where return change would normally come, and Steve watched it incredulously. Harry handed him both badges with another eye roll. One had his name on it, followed by  _Department of Mysteries._ The other one was blank.

"Visitors to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wands for registration at the security desk which is located at the far end of the atrium." As the woman's voice stopped talking the floor of the telephone box shook and began to descend down through the ground.

"What the..?" Steve asked unintelligibly.

"I've been trying to make them increase the security for years," Harry began to ramble in response. "It's absolutely ridiculous and not at all safe. But can wizards understand logic? No. Trying to put through legislations is a nightmare when no one will listen. It doesn't matter that I've been using my name to try and make something happen. They all seem to think that there isn't any better way of doing it. Ah, well, it serves our purposes tonight. This would have been a lot more complicated if the security had been increased more than I've managed."

"Okay," Steve nodded as if any of it made sense. In his experience magic just don't make sense. "Why is your badge blank though?"

"I work here, and only visitors need to use the badges, but the spell only registers how many people state their names, and apparently it's to complicated and expensive to have someone fix it. I didn't bother to ask why."

"Uh-huh." Steve didn't know what else to say. It was all very strange.

They got down, walked through a large empty atrium. Harry didn't pause for anything, least of all the security desk. They got into an elevator and rode down to the bottom floor. Harry led them on down a set of stairs and down through a corridor and into a circular chamber. As soon as the door closed behind them the walls began to spin, making Steve tense. But the wizard at his side was not deterred, taking a door to their right as soon as everything was still again.

It bothered him that it was so easy, but he trusted Harry so he didn't question it. He knew that the other man had worked and planned the excursion since he brought it up a week before and it was clear that he had everything under control.

They walked through two more rooms before Harry came to a sudden standstill. "Here we are," he said, looking at Steve. He sounded strangely regretful. Steve supposed that the future was very uncertain for him. Would he remember doing this, or would the changes Steve would make change Harry's path to something unrecognizable? He was right to be uncertain about it. Harry must believe that this was the right thing to do, and that strengthened his own resolve.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Nothing, just wait while I find what we need." He turned away slowly, reluctantly perhaps. Harry walked over to a cabinet opened the doors and perused the shelves. "It's supposed to be here," he muttered. "Maybe they've moved it," he sounded a bit hopeful at the prospect. It was strange. Harry was giving so many conflicting signals. His words said one thing, his tone and body another.

"Is everything okay?" Steve felt obliged to ask. Something was wrong, very wrong, but he had no idea what it was beside what he had already stated to himself and he didn't think that was enough, if that had been everything Harry would not have given him this chance so readily.

"Yeah, sure. Everything is fine. Aha!" Harry distracted him in his quest to figure out what he was missing as he turned back around, holding a metallic disk hanging from a chain. In the disk two hourglasses were embedded, sat so that they could spin around each other. "This is what we need," the wizard said, without any triumph.

Harry hung the necklace over Steve's neck and looked up at him. The Captain felt like blushing at the proximity. Harry was so close. When the man in front of him sighed, he could feel the warm breath.

The wizard was still holding the disk and he sat the two hourglasses spinning after turning a couple of dials carefully. "It will activate any moment now," he said, voice choked up. His eyes were suspiciously shiny as if tears were gathering there. "I love you, Steve," Harry said and then without any warning he leant forward and pressed his lips to Steve's. The kiss was chaste, just a press of lips on lips and it over nearly before it began. "Good luck."

"Harry-" Steve began to say, but what was to come next neither man ever learnt, because the device around his neck had finished counting down and transported him away.

o-o-o

Steve hasn't expected his rude awakening. It was freezing, bone chilling. Cold beyond anything he'd ever known before. And yet he felt warm from the lingering memory of Harry's kiss. He hasn't expected that either.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he feebly asked the dark space around him. The sound of the words never reached his ears, his voice was too weak. His jaw was clattering, shivering with the cold. He hadn't known that he would end up in his own body. Harry had really planned it all so that there would be no paradox. He had no idea how it had been pulled off.

He felt empty inside. He knew that he needed to get moving, but he just didn't feel the urge to anymore. Perhaps this had been a mistake. Perhaps he had given up something that was impossible to put a price on. Harry loved him. How had he not noticed?

He wanted to blame it on time again. He had grown up and lived his life during a period when such relations weren't spoken about other than to mock and ridicule. Besides that he had barely had a clue about romance in the first place.

How could Harry let him go if that was the way he felt? Steve had not been able to let go of the love he felt for Peggy. Was Harry a stronger man than him? The only thing that was explained by what had been said was why Harry had seemed so conflicted. Yet he must have been so certain that sending Steve back was the right thing. But right for whom? Not himself clearly. The world or Steve then. Harry must have thought that it was what he wanted. But it should have been a mutual choice. How can you chose properly if you don't know the alternatives?

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Steve asked the empty darkness around him again, receiving no response.

o-o-o

It hadn't been easy, but Steve had managed to find his shield and climb out of the plane, swimming through icy water to get to the surface, pushing against the tide that had flooded him as he forced his way outside. He had tried the radio before escaping, but everything was dead. The landscape he emerged to was a never ending wasteland of ice. It was beautiful in the light of a rising sun, not that it gave him any comfort. It was a devastating beauty and he wondered if he might end up dying for real this time.

It had not been his time to go though, because he had been found a few days later when he was nearing the end of the proverbial line. He was exhausted and cold, but his improved body had once more proved itself. Everyone thought it was a miracle that he had survived. In truth it was, but it seemed to pale in comparison to what he knew he had gone through to be there. Magic and time travel.

It was amazing to come home. The people, the sights, the sounds and even the smells. It was all familiar and comforting. The feelings that exploded within him when he saw Peggy again, wilful, beautiful Peggy, were indescribable. Joy. Love. The painful and unwelcome longing for another voice with English accent.

o-o-o

Life went on. Soon the World War was over as he knew it would be.

SHIELD was created and he was in the middle of it. He organized a search for Bucky, making up a story about hearing Schmidt talking about him and what they were trying to accomplish. The amount of red tape they had to go through to get anywhere to retrieve the lost Sergeant was staggering and both once and twice the cold war of espionage that was just beginning was on the verge of turning into outright war as he made them press on. Eventually though their labour bore fruit and James Buchanan Barnes was recovered. It was a triumph, though it wasn't easy once Bucky was back. He had already been deprived of his memories, but it was better than the alternative. So much better.

o-o-o

When it was brought up that they should give the scientists of HYDRA a second chance, to use their knowledge, he said no. He made compelling arguments that he had worked on for years and through his intervention the event never came to pass. The control and affiliations of everyone allowed into SHIELD was much harsher, bordering on the paranoid. It was a necessary evil. He knew what the alternative was.

o-o-o

During all this time he dated Peggy, but things weren't as he had dreamed them. The ghost of a distant future had come between them, the same way the past had come between him and everyone he meant in the new millennia after waking up from his frozen sleep.

When he eventually went down on one knee to propose to Peggy, she said no.

"It's not that I don't love you, Steve," she said, eyes soft and sad as she prompted him to rise back up. "I don't think I can make you happy. I feel like something happened between the plane crash and your return, something you won't speak about. Whatever it is it's coming between us. Until you come to terms with that we cannot work. I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to come to this before I said anything."

Steve realized that she was right when he wasn't as sad as he was supposed to be by the rejection. His own sensibilities, ignorance and innocence had come between him and Harry. He hadn't seen what was there. He hadn't understood what he was giving up. And now the idea of what could have been was getting in the way once more.

He thought about Harry a lot more after that. If he could have, he would have looked at photographs, the way he had done with Peggy, but he didn't even have that. What he did have was his memory and some skill at drawing. For nearly two years he spent every moment of free time trying to perfect a drawing of Harry. He never quite managed to capture him.

o-o-o

Years inevitably passed and soon enough it became apparent that he wasn't aging at the same rate as the people around him. Whereas the people who were the same age as him looked to be fifty years old the way they were supposed to, he could be said to look thirty. It was put down to the serum. He became a bit of an experiment as scientists in SHEILD tried to understand what was happening to him. He was told that he was aging, not just at the rate of  _normal_  people and that he could expect to live to be two hundred.

Knowing that he was going to live for a long time made him think of Harry again. He was certain that the man had said that wizards aged more slowly, that it was not unusual for them to grow to be hundred fifty years old and more. Perhaps he could find Harry again. He would not be the man he had known, but Steve was resolved that he should try. There was the potential of a life together. He only needed to wait and he had all the time in the world.

o-o-o

The years continued ever so slowly. Work never ended. They always needed to stay vigilant and SHEILD was at the front of everything, still uncompromised as far as they could tell. Bucky had taken a leading role in the organization. Never truly regaining the memories he had lost, but he had been able to retain his morals and personality making him in essence the same man he had always been and the friendship with Steve had been rekindled as well as could be expected.

o-o-o

Tony was born and Steve took an active part the boy's life. Howard was a better father then he had probably been the first time around, not obsessed with trying to recover an old friend, and Steve was there to pick up the pieces when the inventor inadvertently missed.

o-o-o

Over all the years that had passed Steve had kept a vigil for anything magical, knowing that the witches and wizards must be out there. Despite that they hadn't been able to find anything. For some time he almost began to believe that he hadn't travelled in time, but that Harry had sent him to a parallel universe where magic didn't exist. It was as likely as anything.

What did give him proof was that the Agents who were sent to investigate matters that matched always returned not remembering that they had had any such mission in the first place. Magic was out there, waiting to be discovered.

The terrorist attacks of the nineties in England had passed without them being able to confirm the existence of magic. When the date came and passed for his the first time he'd met Harry without the wizard showing up on any of his radars he felt his spirits fall.

o-o-o

The assassination on Howard and his wife made to look like a car accident never happened, and the pioneer died calmly in his sleep aged eighty-six, but not before he was able to complete the technique for an arch reactor together with Tony.

Steve trained Agent Philip Coulson personally, knowing the man's potential and increasing it further.

Nicholas Fury never injured his left eye.

The younger Stark was never kidnapped in Afghanistan.

Bruce Banner never worked on trying to replicate the Super Soldier Serum.

Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton were both recruited into Shield much sooner, sparing them a lot of misery.

But what Steve wasn't able to prevent was how Thor crashed into the desert of New Mexico. The events that had followed were prevented though as information was passed on to the Asgardian, warning him of what his brother was planning.

This future truly was a better place. So why wasn't he happy?

o-o-o

"Chin up, Uncle Steve," Tony said, giving him a friendly slap on the back. "There is no need to look so dour. There's music, there's champagne and there's women."

"I don't really feel it," protested Steve. The date of the day when he had originally gone back in time had passed just a few days before and his mood was from stellar. Despite that, or maybe because of that Tony had dragged him to a charity gala. He didn't normally attend them if he had any choice, finding them to be a chance for shallow people to mingle and pat each other on the back for how many millions the had donated, only to go ahead and brag about how much more they had given, ending in them trying to out do each other.

"Ah, come on! I'm sure nearly everyone in the room would give their first born child for a chance to talk with you, the great Captain America!"

"Please, lay off it. And when you say talk, you really mean the other thing."

"Still such a prude, and no-can-do."

"Why, Anthony?" Steve used Tony's full name to show that he was serious and that he wasn't amused.

The other man who looked to be the same age as him now, around forty, pouted childishly. "Because I got a letter from Peggy."

"Peggy Carter?" Steve was surprised. They hadn't spoken much over the last years or decades if truth was to be told. They had slowly drifted apart after his failed proposal. She had gotten married to another man and that was that.

"Do you know another Peggy? And you know that's not her name, she got married."

"I know."

Tony nodded. "Well, she said that she was worried about you, wondering why she hadn't heard in the news that you'd settled down yet. She said that I should help you live a little, that it's not healthy to stay celibate for several decades."

"She said that?"

"She might not have phrased it that way, but yeah. Have a drink." Tony took two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter, pressing on in Steve's hand and downing the contents of his own. "Let me introduce you to someone."

"I don't want to meet any women."

"A man then," Tony said flippantly and walked away, disappearing into the crowd.

"Tony!" Steve hissed at his back, but he was ignored, or maybe not heard in the first place. He sighed, dragged a hand through his hair, which was beginning to show a couple of hairs which no longer were blond, but gray.

Feeling frustrated he too downed his drink, knowing that it would have no effect, but still relishing in the burn the sparkles had as the bubbly drink slid down his throat. He shook his head, put down his empty glass and crossed his arms across his chest in resignation. He might as well wait where he was, Tony would find him even if he attempted to flee. He might as well get it over with. He stared sullenly at his shoes. They were ridiculously shiny, and the knot on the left one was beginning to untie itself.

"Ah, there you are, right where I left you. It seems that you can teach old dogs how to sit after all. Good boy." Steve drew in a breath to stop himself from saying anything. "Harry this is Steve, Steve meet Harry."

Steve looked up, not daring to hope. Harry wasn't an unusual name. It couldn't possibly be. And yet there he was. It was Harry Potter, the wizard who had put him back into his own time. Black hair and glasses in front of eyes he hadn't been able to remember the colour of. Green.

"Hi," Harry said with a slight smile, giving his hand.

Steve shook it in a stupor, holding on for too long. "Hello," he responded after Tony cleared his throat pointedly. There was music playing. An old song he recognized, not any of the new electronically made music he hadn't been able to assimilate the second time around either.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked, surprising himself by how forward he was, and surprising Tony even more.

"Okay," Harry responded easily, taking the initiative and leading him towards the dance floor.

It was not the same as it could have been, but perhaps that was for the best, because now Steve knew that he wasn't giving up anything.

The music played and Steve fumbled with his hands. "I've never really learned how to dance," he admitted.

"That's okay," Harry responded. "I'm not good at it either, but we'll get by."

Harry grabbed his hands and placed them where they were meant to go they began to dance, standing close together.

"I remember," Harry said suddenly.

"What?"

"A few days ago I got memory images of another life. The memories aren't exactly mine, but it's close enough."

"So you know who I am, what happened and?" It was incredible. But then again this was magic.

Harry nodded. "Yes, and if you want to I'd like to give us a try."

Steve nodded mutely, joy as he hadn't felt in to many years bubbling inside him together with the champagne. They danced on in silence until a voice began to sing along with the music.

"Kiss me?" Harry asked.

Without hesitating, Steve did.

o-o-o

_Never thought that you would be, standing here so close to me. There's so much I feel that I should say, but words can wait until some other day. Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time. Haven't felt like this my dear since I can't remember when. It's been a long, long time. You'll never know how many dreams I dream about you, or just how empty they all seem without you. So, kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time._

o-o-o

**_Fin_ **

**Author's Note:**

> AN 9th May 2014
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story. I always love to hear what you thought so feel free to leave a comment, and if you liked this story it's probable that you'll like more of my work and this story is part of a series where I take requests, check it out!
> 
> Cheers!


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